After much thought and talking with my family, I have decided to reschedule my surgery to sometime in June. I have sooo much coming up before then that I really would like to enjoy without having to worry about recovery or any thing that could possibly go wrong. I left a message at the doctor's office today and hopefully will hear something tomorrow or at least Wednesday.
I helped my oldest study for her nursing final tonight. Wow, I am amazed at all that she keeps in her head. Not sure if it is because I can no longer keep much information in my head or what. My memory is just horrible. I would read something to her and forget it a minute later. Used to be so different for me.
She will graduate from nursing school in June of this coming year. My next to oldest is due to have my first grandbaby in April. My next to youngest is graduating from high school in May and then my youngest starts high school in the fall.
So many things - exciting things - happening. Things I don't want to miss. I can take the pain and "live" with it until after all of it is complete. I will then take care of me.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
40 more days
I have been trying to take several 10-15 minute walks a week to get my heart in better shape. Seems so weird for me to even say that. Before I was diagnosed, I was training twice a day for a figure/fitness competition. I was in very good shape and did 45 min to an hour of cardio a day. Makes me sad to think that I have got to this point....the point where I can barely make the 15 min walk, before my legs start itching so badly that I want to cry.
My walk today was great. I take my walks in our city cemetery. It is very pretty. I drive over to it and take a different route each time. Today the sky was so pretty, the weather was perfect and it was just so peaceful.
During my walk I thought about the fact that time goes so fast. I only have 40 days until my surgery. I have my list made and have been slowly checking it off as time allows. With Christmas coming and not having a job, it hasn't been easy. Thank goodness for Gary and his job!
During my walk I also had a talk with GOD. Praying to him to please let me live to see my girls live their lives. To watch them graduate, marry, have babies.
Next year is a huge year for us. We have Christmas, surgery, grandbaby coming, daughter graduating high school, daughter graduating college, daughter entering high school. I pray that I am here and this surgery makes me feel better. Makes me a stronger mom, wife, daughter, sister, and friend.
My walk today was great. I take my walks in our city cemetery. It is very pretty. I drive over to it and take a different route each time. Today the sky was so pretty, the weather was perfect and it was just so peaceful.
During my walk I thought about the fact that time goes so fast. I only have 40 days until my surgery. I have my list made and have been slowly checking it off as time allows. With Christmas coming and not having a job, it hasn't been easy. Thank goodness for Gary and his job!
During my walk I also had a talk with GOD. Praying to him to please let me live to see my girls live their lives. To watch them graduate, marry, have babies.
Next year is a huge year for us. We have Christmas, surgery, grandbaby coming, daughter graduating high school, daughter graduating college, daughter entering high school. I pray that I am here and this surgery makes me feel better. Makes me a stronger mom, wife, daughter, sister, and friend.
Monday, November 16, 2009
the beginning
It started back in 2004, when I was having a lot of pain and pressure at the back of my head and I just wasn't feeling quite right. I kept telling my family that I thought something was wrong with me. I made an appt with a neurologist and after having an MRI he said that I had Chiari but "wasn't going to worry about it"
well, I didn't like that answer! I had done a lot of research and was in a lot of pain....so I went to TCI and got more information about Chiari. At that time Dr. Bolognase told me that we would just wait because I was still living comfortably. I was working full time and not having too much pain.
Fast forward to this year.
one of the things that causes me a lot of pain is stress and my full time job was causing me stress. I would come home every night and cry. I was in so much pain. I would sit at work and hardly be able to move because I was in so much pain. After talking it over with my husband, we determined that my health was the most important thing, and I quit.
It wasn't an easy decision, I had been there for over 14 years!
I made an appointment to see Dr. Bejjani. He and I talked and decided to go ahead with surgery. Because my quality of life is not where I want it to be. and there is a 70% chance it will get better? of course I realize this surgery is not a cure. But I am hoping that it will at least alleviate some of my pain. And that it stops the progression.
I have known about this surgery for 5 weeks now. And it has taken me sooo much to come to acceptance and be calmer about it. I was sooo afraid. I am still afraid but I feel better. Hard to explain. I was just worried because I have 4 daughters and want to be here for them.
I am more at PEACE now because I know that GOD will be with me and carry me through and I will wake up and the girls, Gary and mom will be waiting for me :)
well, I didn't like that answer! I had done a lot of research and was in a lot of pain....so I went to TCI and got more information about Chiari. At that time Dr. Bolognase told me that we would just wait because I was still living comfortably. I was working full time and not having too much pain.
Fast forward to this year.
one of the things that causes me a lot of pain is stress and my full time job was causing me stress. I would come home every night and cry. I was in so much pain. I would sit at work and hardly be able to move because I was in so much pain. After talking it over with my husband, we determined that my health was the most important thing, and I quit.
It wasn't an easy decision, I had been there for over 14 years!
I made an appointment to see Dr. Bejjani. He and I talked and decided to go ahead with surgery. Because my quality of life is not where I want it to be. and there is a 70% chance it will get better? of course I realize this surgery is not a cure. But I am hoping that it will at least alleviate some of my pain. And that it stops the progression.
I have known about this surgery for 5 weeks now. And it has taken me sooo much to come to acceptance and be calmer about it. I was sooo afraid. I am still afraid but I feel better. Hard to explain. I was just worried because I have 4 daughters and want to be here for them.
I am more at PEACE now because I know that GOD will be with me and carry me through and I will wake up and the girls, Gary and mom will be waiting for me :)
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